DURING the Civil War, the Confederacy won a victory in the Battle of Chickamauga and the North’s need for more soldiers forced President Lincoln to create a new branch of the infantry.
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The Greatest Depression Ever!
Posted on 25 July 2008
HELMUTH, Switzerland — Renowned Swiss Economist M.T. Taanke — who first predicted the current oil crisis — (Weekly World News, August 22, 2005), has just made public a Decisive International Restructured Economy Report which warns categorically of a worldwide depression that means the end of civilization as we now know it!
The D.I.R.E. Report was written [...]
Real Flower Child!
Posted on 25 July 2008
HOBBS, N.M. — In the freewheeling 1960s, hippies Ron and Rachel Dawson took the concept of flower power a little too far.
“We did a lot of recreational vegetation in those days,” said Ron, “mostly weed and mushrooms. When we found out that Rachel was pregnant, we didn’t think our hobby would affect the baby. We [...]
Animals Chat!
Posted on 25 July 2008
MANHATTAN, N.Y. — Animal Chat is a groundbreaking book that finally reveals something we’ve always wondered: What are animals saying?
“I spent my entire life living among different animals,” author James Royce told Weekly World News. “Using a laptop and various translation programs, I devoted two years to each species to learn how they communicate. I [...]
Mystery Castle!
Posted on 25 July 2008
BALLYBILLYBALOO, Ireland — When Mr. and Mrs. Paddy Finncool became lost in a dense fog on their way from Ballybillybaloo to Killgarny, they stumbled on Castle O’Toole, one of the top tourist attractions in Ireland — for those with the courage to go there.
“And a map,” Anna Finncool remarked. “You’d never find it without directions.”
“We [...]
Thesaurus Rex?
Posted on 25 July 2008
MOBUL, Ind. — Digging in an ancient lake basin, paleontologists have located the remains of the most remarkable dinosaur that walked the Earth.
“It’s the same size and general build of a T-rex,” said Dr. Al Varez. “However, there are anatomical differences in the bones around the larynx suggesting that this creature had the ability to [...]
ALIENS
Alien Baby Is Edwards Love Child!
Posted on 11 August 2008
MURRIETA, Calif. — The Federal Agency of Interstellar Contact is seeking responsibility and legal paternity rights for the Edwards love child.
Lt. Commander Gabe Williams, FAIC public affairs liaison officer, told WWN, “This baby needs a father regardless of what planet it lives on. Our agency is willing to transport the child to a safe galaxy [...]
CELEBS
Benjamin Frankin’s Shocking Secret
Posted on 01 August 2008
1752: Early Draft of Franklin Autobiography Reveals Shocking Secret
By HORTON YARDLEY
AS RECOUNTED in his memoirs, Benjamin Franklin flew a kite during a storm to prove that lightning was, in fact, electricity. A key was attached to the kite and, when it was struck by a bolt from above, the Founding Father saw it light up, [...]
HEADLINES
UFO Attack!
Posted on 11 August 2008
YEAGER, Texas — Marauding UFOs recently attacked a Texas air show, thinking vintage biplanes would be easy pickings.
“We would have been vaporized if it weren’t for the intervention of some quick-thinking Angels,” stunt pilot Col. Pete Newman, USAF, Ret. told Weekly World News.
“Our annual vintage World War I dogfight had just become airborne at the Yeager Air Grounds,” Newman said.
MUTANTS
Fly-Eyed Baby!
Posted on 01 August 2008
MUSCATINE, Iowa — A local hospital recently revealed that Allan Collinson, son of Ted and Dede Collinson, was born with fragmented, refracted eyes.
“At first I thought they were just really, really bright,” said his proud but confused mother. “Like he was angelic or something. But when they handed the swaddled newborn to me and I [...]
OPINION
The Security Of Common Sense
Posted on 31 July 2008
LET ME SEE YOUR PAPERS
I’m madder than a porcupine stuck in a thorn bush over the fact that, these days, you can’t get on a plane without a driver’s license or passport.
Yeah, yeah, I know all about security. But I also know that sometimes I feel like I’m living in Nazi Germany and I don’t [...]
Ed Anger
The Security Of Common Sense
Posted on 31 July 2008
LET ME SEE YOUR PAPERS
I’m madder than a porcupine stuck in a thorn bush over the fact that, these days, you can’t get on a plane without a driver’s license or passport.
Yeah, yeah, I know all about security. But I also know that sometimes I feel like I’m living in Nazi Germany and I don’t [...]
POLITICS
Romney Stalks BatBoy!
Posted on 01 August 2008
VICE PRESIDENT HOPEFUL VISITS BAT BOY’S HOME!
Romney promises to protect spelunkers from monsters
WEST VIRGINIA — Former Gov. Mitt Romney made a campaign stop at the famous cave where Bat Boy was found, using the scenic location to discuss safety issues.
Romney, campaigning for the Republican Party’s vice presidency nomination, stood before the cave entrance for a [...]
ELECTION 08
Shocking Translations!
Posted on 25 July 2008
SINAI PENINSULA, Egypt — The Ten Commandments are God’s moral guidelines for humankind, discouraging basic offenses such as theft, lying and murder. But new research has completely redefined the Tables of the Covenant, revealing for the first time since the days of Moses, God’s true, surprisingly stern, wishes.
“As Weekly World News has reported, the original [...]
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